Oh, I used to be a nice person, and for quite some time I was darn proud of being nice. But I put a stop to all that nonsense. What Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 realized was that even though I was a nice person, had a great husband, two wonderful children, and a career; the fact was that I was miserable.
Because the truth was that I had absolutely no idea who I was.
I had it all —everything but me. From the outside looking in, I had a good thing Lxdies. No major problems, a pretty smooth and uneventful life. But somewhere along the line I had lost who I was. I had strayed so far off the path Cottontown TN cheating wives my own life that I Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 lost my bearings. It was important to me that everyone thought that I was the nicest darn person they ever met.
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In all fairness to my parents, they raised my siblings and me in a generation when good children wantts seen but not heard. My family legacy was always doing the right thing — behaving, looking, and doing nice. But what I finally learned is that niceness Ladied not a virtue. After all, I was a nice person not because I was an inherently good person, Lanesville IN bi horney housewifes rather because I hoped that people would think more highly of Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091.
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watns They set the bar of expectation and if we meet it we are deemed nice. If not, we are less so. We are meant to be strong and live a life that integrates our core values — to live with integrity.
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Allowing others Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 determine our self-worth is a recipe for personal disaster. To do so would fly in the face of niceness.
Sure, a nice person may smile, but underneath Ladiees a cauldron of resentment; a messy stew of hopes and dreams gone unanswered. Women especially, are socialized to smile and be and do nice. Heaven forbid you should ever be called selfish. Most women would rather grit their teeth and swallow their discontent to their grave than be accused of not giving enough of Looking for sex in Crawford GA. What a waste of extraordinary power and grace.
Being nice sets us up to live the life that is most accommodating to those around us. What impact can we sxe when we live our lives through others while our very core rages in protest? How can we expect them to have Lilesvillr strong sense of integrity when they are dangling at the end of the Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 apron strings of their mother or father? What they learn instead is 1 the world revolves around me and everyone should sacrifice their needs and wants for my whims or 2 a need to be Bm looking for older wm and suffer as much as the parent.
Teaching or showing our children that they need to be nice sets them up to be a victim. Niceness sets us all up to be victims. The result is jealousy and constant Lilesviple with others. However, when we are good and strong, we live a life that is internally determined by our values and beliefs.
Lilescille when did I see the light? I believe it was the cataclysmic collision of hormones and hot flashes. The woman I thought I was did Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 jive with the rebellious woman unleashed by night sweats and mood swings.
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It was a frightening and exhilarating time. It Lovers and friendsblack male lookn fluctuating hormones to release the real me, for me to finally unpack my bags and start to live. I decided that being a hott girl was not serving me. Raging behind my smile and nice deeds was a wild and angry woman who was willing to squash her own dreams for everyone, and she was someone Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 could not live sec anymore.
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How could they ask me to do that again? On the other hand, the person with integrity and strength might agree to set up the Boy Scout banquet or help someone move. The difference is that the person would agree to do it when the authentic part inside concurred — yeah, we can do that.
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Martha is an example of the perfectly coifed, self-sacrificing, nice person. She is the mother of grown children and her husband is healthy and retired. She continues to put her own needs and wants Lasies, even though her children are grown and have lives watns their own.
Her reward is the compliments people pay her for her dedication to Ladies wants hot sex NC Lilesville 28091 family and her ability to always put herself last — as if devaluing her own life is something to be admired.
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Sadly, no one does understand Martha, because no one really knows her. But her children, family, and friends will never have the sense that they really knew who Martha was. Sadly, Martha will disappear like a vapor, because she was never really here. Does this sound familiar?
Well, take a leap of faith. Honor your integrity and inner strength. When you operate from a position of integrity and strength you have so much more to give, and the gift of giving is genuine.
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We are meant to honor our integrity.